Nervous system myths and states

Hi Friends,

“Nervous system regulation means being calm all the time.”

It’s a very common myth. Even if it’s not said so directly, it’s a framing that most people, even health professionals, leverage when promoting grounding or stress-reduction techniques.

While it’s true that most of us are chronically stressed, and calming techniques can be helpful, the reality is that healthy nervous system regulation implies a dynamic balance of arousal (sympathetic) and relaxation (parasympathetic) co-activation.

The problem with conflating “regulation” with “calm” is that it labels activation as “bad”. Now your state is just one more thing to stress about. But sometimes activation is appropriate, such as: giving an important presentation, sports performance, confronting fears. The increased heart rate you experience is your body mobilizing the energy needed for the task at hand.

A basic-but-accurate understanding of nervous system states can help you resolve internal disconnects and respond more effectively in the moment.

To help you ease some stress, here are a couple more myths. Then I’ll give a primer on nervous system states and how to recognize them.

“The brain gives the commands” / “The body determines your state”

At the beginning, most people believe the brain calls the shots. In reality, afferent nerve fibers continuously send signals from the heart, lungs and visceral organs that impact your emotional experience and cognition. Meaning the physical state of the body has a big impact.

On the other hand, many enthusiasts and clinicians over-emphasize the impact of the periphery, namely the Vagus nerve. This is partially due to the popularity of Polyvagal Theory, and its naming of states as either “ventral vagal” or “dorsal vagal”.

Neurophysiology supports a model that is bidirectional. Which combines inputs from the prefrontal cortex (conscious), subcortical structures (unconscious), afferent nerves (body), and feedback loops between them.

Nervous system states as an “autonomic ladder”

Many people misunderstand the stress response as a three-tiered evolutionary staircase that moves linearly from: shutdown (bottom) to mobilization (middle) to safety (top). This view is an oversimplification of both Polyvagal theory and modern neurophysiology.

In reality, it’s a co-activated dance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches. An extreme version of this can be seen in the “active freeze” response. A more mild example is witnessed during play, which requires both arousal and safety.

It’s misconceptions such as the ones above that have led some researchers to claim that the Polyvagal theory is an untenable model, given modern neuroscience. However, proponents of Polyvagal theory claim these critics are based on misunderstandings of the model’s actual positions.

Regardless, Polyvagal theory and the more recent Cognitive Autonomic Network model, or Neurovisceral Integration theory, agree on the myths clarified above.

Based on the newer models, let’s look at the four nervous system states, their purpose, and how you can spot them in your own system.

1. Rested Engagement & Connection (High Vagal Modulation)

  • Physiology: Parasympathetic dominance acting via fast cardiac vagal modulation (“vagal brake”). Cortical regulation maintains a low sympathetic tone.
  • Identifiers: Smooth voice, open facial expressions, relaxed posture, fluid breathing, grounded physical presence.
  • Application: Optimal state for reflection, insight, skill-building, new perspectives, and mind-body connection.

2. Active Mobilization & Drive (Sympathetic Activation)

  • Physiology: Withdrawal of the vagal brake paired with increased sympathetic outflow, elevating heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle blood flow.
  • Identifiers: Rapid speech, fidgeting, alertness, sharp focus, or visible restlessness.
  • Application: Fuels action-taking and emotional processing. When non-threatened, it drives healthy boundary-setting. When threat-triggered, it manifests as hyperarousal or anger.

3. Active Threat Freezing (SNS + PNS Co-Activation)

  • Physiology: Simultaneous high sympathetic mobilization and parasympathetic braking.
  • Identifiers: Held or shallow breath, sudden muscle stiffness, fixed gaze, wide eyes, “ready to burst” internal sensation despite being immobilized.
  • Application: This is the active tension state (gas and brakes on simultaneously) when you’ve been “holding it all together” for too long. Focus first on micro-movements, sensory grounding, or breath release before attempting cognitive work.

4. Hypoarousal & Conservation (Metabolic Downregulation)

  • Physiology: Systemic reduction of sympathetic drive paired with parasympathetic dominance and energy conservation.
  • Identifiers: Flat tone and affect, slouched or heavy posture, distant/foggy gaze, slow responses, feelings of numbness or detachment.
  • Application: Protective shutdown response. Common in burnout or deep grief. Prioritize gentle presence, basic physical safety cues, and orienting to the present environment.

Perhaps an awareness of these states helps you to understand your responses and identify your default home base.

If you’re nervous system feels like you’re “always on”, send a reply with the word “settle” and I’ll send a quick note on where to start.

Building connection through self-discovery,
Gabriel


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Healing Shares

Each week I share tested resources from fellow experts, that I use personally and with clients, to assist your self-discovery.

  • They Want You to Have Your Wings (10-min article)​
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    A conversation on power, spiritual recovery, and living an integrated life with cult recovery researcher and ritualist, Rayann Gordon.
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  • 1-min Instruction on Box Breathing (1-min video)​
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    Many people find box breathing helpful for calming. In Tai Chi, we call it Yin-Yang Breathing, because you can use it to relax or to energize. Watch my 4-min instructional video here.
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  • To Hold (poem by Li-Young Lee)​
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    The way this offers profundity to the transitory nature of everyday events takes my breath away.

Thanks for being here with us. Did anything stand out to you? Please reply to let me know. We always enjoy hearing about your favourite resources, too.

Gabriel


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