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“Everything we let go of has claw marks in it.” – Anne Lamott I’ve spent years learning from Tai Chi master and lineage holder, Sifu Michael Paler. He used to always refer to Tai Chi as “the art of letting go”. This was such a major focus that I still have an old t-shirt from his school with that phrase emboldened on the back. Then just this week, a friend shared this video from another Tai Chi instructor about the importance of letting go. While this concept may seem simple at first, we can unpack it to find much more depth. The concept is so core to the practice that the first important milestone for most students is learning the skill called song, which means “release”. Song is understood first as the relaxation of physical tension. The famous master Cheng Man Ching is claimed to have said “relax” one thousand times in every class. The importance of “letting go” is not isolated to Tai Chi. Neural pruning, where neurons are metabolized in order to reduce motor noise, is a crucial part of developing any athletic skill. This is why the difference between an expert and a novice is that the expert can relax the muscles not needed to perform the movement. And we all know its value for cognitive tasks. The way we reduce distractions to focus, and the cost of task-switching. The concept of “letting go” is part of perhaps all spiritual frameworks. It’s in seeing through cravings from Buddhism and in “letting god take the wheel” from Christianity. Of course many spiritual paths talk about decreasing identification with one’s ego. Despite all this focus on letting go, why is it so hard for most of us to actual accomplish? Why it’s so hard to let go Ever noticed that tension that builds up in your shoulders? You take a deep breath and let them fall. Only to notice those shoulders rising up again instinctively the next time you take your attention off of them. You’ve had the experience of trying to focus on something important when you’re really stressed about something else. No amount of telling yourself to “just drop it” really helps. If letting go was as simple as reminding ourselves to relax a thousand times per day, then we’d all have the serenity of Siddhartha Gautama and the focus of Michael Jordan. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. (A point that many Tai Chi teachers seem to overlook.) That’s because that which we are attempting to let go is exactly what we are holding on to. We may or may not be conscious of it, but there’s a reason for that holding. Somehow it makes us feel safe. “Letting go”, or Pushing away? Mostly, our default approach to letting go is actually a sneaky attempt to push something away. But when one part of you is holding on for safety and another is pushing away, you end up fighting yourself. The only result that comes from that is more tension, not less. It’s counterproductive. This is a place where most meditators hit a roadblock. A lot of what we are holding is emotional stress. More specifically, the stress of trying to avoid feeling. But those emotions must be fully felt before they can be released. Rather than pushing away, we must learn to let be. Wuji standing practice instructions You don’t have to take my word for it. Try this standing meditation practice.
If you found that helpful, you can return to this practice as often as you like. Sometimes it can be challenging to stay with the sensations. That’s totally normal. If you’re ready to release what you’re holding so you can show up with more presence, join me for Tai Chi for Releasing Stored Stress virtual workshop on June 17th. Whatever your experience, reply here and let me know how it goes! On the journey with you, Gabriel Tai Chi for Releasing Stored StressVirtual Workshop on Wednesday, June 17
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You’ve been the load-bearing wall for a long time. And the body keeps the score. This 75-minute virtual workshop brings together traditional tai chi, clinic nervous system regulation and somatic wisdom to teach you how to hear what your body is actually communicating, and to practice movements that restore calm without effort. This isn’t about pushing harder at wellness. It’s about learning to let the body unwind on its own terms. Recording available for one week after the event.
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Healing Shares
Each week I share vetted resources from trusted experts to assist your healing journey.
- Tai Chi Changes What You Think You Are (23-min video)
Tai Chi expert, Zongqing “Chester” Lin, explains the skill progression of Tai Chi based on a series of subsequent releases.
- The Skill of Relaxation (5-min article)
An explanation of how relaxation is the fundamental requirement behind skill development, by manual therapist and author of A Guide to Better Movement.
- Marketing for Hippies 101 Daylong Workshop (PWYC professional resource)
For my healers, coaches & conscious entrepreneurs! Tired of icky marketing? Tad Hargrave brings his Marketing for Hippies 101 workshop to Victoria on Friday, June 12th. Pay-What-You-Can with $25 deposit. Learn ethical marketing that actually works! Let them know I sent you. 🙂
Thanks for being here with us. Did anything stand out to you? Please reply to let me know. I always enjoy hearing about your favourite resources, too.
Gabriel
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